Sister Johnson: 6/24/24

 

Holy moly!

It's happening you guys! 

I have finished home MTC, and am now playing the waiting game till I report to the provo MTC tomorrow.  As I told my mom, I'm too excited to be fully sad.  But I'm way too sad and nervous to be fully excited!  What a pickle.  I find myself sometimes thinking: I can't wait to get to the MTC so I can fully focus on my missionary purpose!  Other times, I wonder: why am I doing this again!?! 

But there's a story!  There are some of you who know this, but others who don't.  So maybe to make up for not telling you all during my farewell (and to remind myself) I'll tell you all why I decided to do this:

I had never wanted to go on a mission. The thought always terrified me (and still does)  For a long time, I wondered whether this was something God wanted or expected me to do.  Eventually I asked him, and got an answer.  He told me that it was my choice. Wow.  Shocker.  Agency, amirite??  So I firmly decided that I was NOT going on a mission.  I really like it when people ask me whether I had always wanted to go.  They always seem pretty surprised when I answer with "oh definitely not." or "not at all."  It's pretty entertaining.  It also makes me wonder how many missionaries had always planned on going.  Maybe I'll have to start asking all my missionary friends the same thing.

Anyways.  For the longest time, there was no mission in my future plans.  But, as I grew older, lived life, My testimony of Christ started to grow.  I learned more about him, his character.  Most importantly, I developed a personal relationship with him.  He saved me from many things.  He will continue to do so.  I began to love Jesus more and more with every passing day.  As Nephi says "I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell."  I was listening to a podcast that focuses on the scriptures in the come follow me rotation.  This was during the new testament year.  I was hearing about the story of Peter walking on the water.  What a powerful story!  I felt a strong desire to do that!  I wanted to have that much faith in Jesus, in his power.  I wanted to show him my devotion and love!  But I wasn't just going to go step out of a boat into the ocean, or jump off of a building or something.  What was impossible for me?  What was something that would require as much faith as Peter had to step out of that boat?  Then I knew.  Go on a mission.

Of course, since then, I have found many more reasons why.  But It's good to remind myself where this all started.  This is going to be incredibly hard, if not impossible for me.  But that's the point.  I am not going to survive this on my own.  I am only here because of Jesus.  I will only make it through on his miraculous grace.  I will only finish this race if He carries me.  If I return home in one piece, let it be a testimony of my Savior Jesus Christ.  

You guys! Here we go!! I am stepping out of the boat!!! 

Gah!!!!!!! This is terrifying!!!!!!!!  

- With Love, hope, and probably lots of anxiety, Sister Johnson:)