Sister Neel: 5/9/22

 

a little bit of the Avrey fam

"the raw emotions of Sis Neel"

Hey ya'll 

It's. Been. A. Whirlwind. As you can tell by the title of my weekly...I left Washington late Saturday night and have been assigned to the Jacksonville area. There was a Sister missionary that went home due to medical issues so they shuffled a lot of missionaries around and felt strongly that I needed to fill in a spot here in Jacksonville. It's a super interesting area. We share a ward with another set of sister missionaries and elders, and the zone leaders cover YSA and another family ward. All in all this is the promised land when it comes to teaching and finding. Hence the reason for so many missionaries. We're even closer to the ocean now and our zone covers many of the islands and coastal areas of North Carolina. We also have the military base, Camp Leguene in our area so military is HUGE down here. There's marines and war machinery everywhere ya'll. 

All in all it's been a whirlwind of emotions and honestly a super challenging weekend. When I got the call that I was being transferred to Jacksonville, it broke my heart. It was painful and draining. And to make it worse, they told me I was originally supposed to end my mission in Washington but then all this went down and plans changed. Obviously not for God but for the Maurers. I've never broken down crying to the Maurers but man they were the first to see the initial shock. I had a day and a half notice to pack up and say goodbye to an area that I spent 6 months of my mission in. 6 weeks last year and 5 months recently. I didn't get to say goodbye to everyone I taught or served around in the branch, only a select few that were close or had time to drop everything and spare some time. It was a chaotic few days of packing and getting ready to leave. All in all I'm pretty broken and sad. You give your heart and soul to an area, love the people so deeply, sacrifice sleep to worry or plan, devote free time to serve those around you and open your heart to feel what God feels for His children you get to serve around everyday all day. 

We walked down town one last time and as I bumped knuckles with the mailman, waved to the ice cream lady, laughed with Al as he kept working on the broken lock, said goodbye to Jerry as he unloaded the truck, threw the newspaper into the lady's store that cuts hair and looked at the beautiful view of the water, it was hard because all of those memories were being abruptly closed with little time to process. And no one really knew 

Those goodbye hugs I gave to all those people that became family, literally people I'm sure I promised to find in the pre mortal world, was so tough. You just hold them and reflect on all you've been through and what's about to come. It's like I'm handing these people back into the Lord's hands and knowing He'll lead and guide them while I leave. It's just hard to think about walking away from somewhere like that. It's almost impossible. The drive out of Washington nearly killed me. So so tough. This is the kind of hard that no one talks about. Maybe I'm being dramatic y'all but here's the raw emotions of Sister Neel. I promise y'all I'm going to be OK. And I'm fully trusting in the Lord and applying faith by being here. I may not know now but I know God knows and that's all that matters. It may not be easy but this area and my companion are amazing so it helps put light on this new adventure. Just processing all the emotions. Ya know?

Buttttt here's some cool things that helped me realize why I needed to go back to little Washington. What the people I taught said about the impact I had on them. It's personal but so profound 

• Brother Noe said that he had been praying for change in his life and then a week later learned I was coming back to the area. He said that through my example and the time I took to listen and teach to his concerns, enabled him the confidence and determination to go share the Book of Mormon with others and help people gain the same testimony 

• Ernist said that my happiness and joy caused him to look deep in his life for that same emotion and he's been able to find similar feelings by investigating the gospel. He said he was in awe at my example and prayed every night in gratitude for the opportunity he had to know me and witness a change he had been seeking for since he was young 

• the Avreys...ah love them. He said that anywhere I would go would follow with an impact and flow of change. He said if someone wasn't smiling when I first met them, that by the time the conversation ended, they would walk away fulfilled and happy. He said I brought the truth into their life. That because I left my family for a short time, he could now have his for forever. He said that he now knew about the priesthood which was something he now desired and couldn't wait for the day when he could join his family in the temple and be told the words "forever." He and Tonya literally cried when I left. They couldn't grasp the idea everything was over but felt so privileged for the knowledge they learned 

• Matthew and I had a good cry together. I watched him grow from the less than nothing guy that liked living in the shadows and sin of life to now a man who spreads the gospel on his own and is preparing to be baptized and get the priesthood. I've been there through all the highs and the lows, I watched him grow and encouraged him when no one else would. He said I was his best friend...he said when he prayed for the missionaries to be in Washington when he got out, I was everything he was hoping for. He said I changed his life and because of my testimony and diligence to help him, he felt God enter his life in a unique way and impact change almost instantly. That was a hard goodbye but we both knew that we didn't need to cry it was over but smile because it happened. Such fun memories 

Anywho here's some highlights of the week: 

☆ we met someone famous at McDonald's. We go there all the time because they have good wifi and in walks the guy that filmed the video 

I was in for Eagles Wings. So we chat, ya know the usual, and then he asks us if we know who he is. We laugh and said no. And he said he was on the TV show, 90 day fiancee and dated a girl half his age. YUCK. But he straight up is famous and he showed us his pictures and if you Google his name, he'll pop up. Ben Mahogany. Go see who our new homie is. It's wack

☆ I'm known for my music in the mission apparently. My bops are righteous but they hit different. We blasted some music at Eagles Wings and it turned into a huge dance party. Everyone came back to where we were stocking shelves and just started dancing. It was so fun 

☆ we had a lesson with sSdderian and his fellowshipper, Bro Ritchey, drove in 30 minutes to join. After 20 minutes we decided to go hunt Sidderian down and find out where he was. We rolled up to Papa John's and he wasn't there so we drove back to where Bro Ritchey was and told him he could follow us down to Sidderians house. As we were driving down the highway, we see this man standing in the middle of the road, trying to run across the 3 lanes and make it to the other side. As we get closer we realize it's SIDDERIAN. I mean talk about a wack place to see your investigator. We literally skirted into Waffle House, flipped a U and raced back to the mall. Bro Ritchey was so confused and when he rolled up next to us, he said "man this feels like deja vu." We were dead. We told him to sit tight and we were going to make sure Sidderian was coming our way. We go back to the other side of the mall and see Sidderian walking the other way, so I hit the gas and fly down the road, screeching the car around the corner and rolling up beside him, roll down the window and told him we had been waiting for him. He then hurried over to where we would meet haha. Man talk about a fun experience. Stalking your friend just to get him to a lesson. So fun 

Another funny experience with him was we were doing contacting down in the mall and had the thought to go stop by Papa John's and check on Sidderian. We walk up right as Sidderian comes out on break and is about to lit a cigarette, when he sees it and tries to hurry and put it back in his pocket. I pointed right at him and was like "ah heck no." His eyes went wide and he was positive that God had sent us at the right time to stop him. I asked him to see his cigarettes and went to the trash and threw them away. Then I opened the door, told him he could go inside now and he was so bummed. Yep. When the spirit prompts you to go check on people, never hesitate. It was a bold move but Sidderian needed it and we were all laughing sooo hard after we left 

☆ we had zone council this week and i was able to give a training on inspired questions. The zone leaders did a training on knowing your 'why' and writing it on a card. So on the hard days, you could pull it out and remember why you came on a mission and the blessings that will follow. It was a powerful meeting and such a blessing to be gathered together as a zone 

☆ we showed up at the Cabrera's house to pick up dinner, they're the cute Hispanic family, and when we asked them if there was anything we could do, she put us to work by helping her prepare for Cinco de mayo. We shredded chickens, filled these huge pots with water and carried them out to the back to put on a huge fire grate and be boiled and set up decorations. Their home and community they live in makes you feel like your in Mexico so we were in heaven 

Alrighty now here's for the spiritual moments:

We taught the Avrey's about the temple, priesthood and family history which they absolutely love. Billy hasn't been able to get off the family history app. He's obsessed and is in awe over history he never knew about. It was so special 

We taught a lesson to Ernist at McDonald's and had Matthew help fellowship the lesson by adding his insights and testimony on the restoration. Honestly it was so powerful to watch him relate to Ernists concerns, bear testimony and share his thoughts on this message. Man, it brought me to tears and has gotten me so excited for when he can be an official member. Bro Wilson showed up and bought us all ice cream so that was a dub 

Matthew had another tough week but we shared our favorite scriptures on peace and brought our favorite comfort food as we helped hype him up. He's remaining so strong and just waiting for June when his baptism can officially happen. Such an elect guy 

Lastly, here's a really powerful and personal experience I had. It was Friday morning, the night after I had gotten the news I was leaving. Sis Brinkerhoff was working out in the other room and Sister Buss was in the shower. I was standing at the kitchen window making some Oatmeal and processing all the emotions. I couldn't understand why I needed to leave. I felt robbed of time. Then it hit me. I was brought back to remember that girl who knelt beside her bed a year ago in Washington and pleaded for direction amidst my mental health struggles, to moving to Wake Forest and enduring my trials there, to training my cute missionary and seeing the relationships I had in the ward flourish, to moving to Holly Springs and meeting Cole, watching him prepare for baptism and then finding out the crazy news I was coming back to little Washington and getting a part two of the life I dearly loved. Meeting old friends and finding new people. Then the vision panned back to me standing at the window, with my Oatmeal and looking out the window. There I was. 

I don't know if yall remember but a year ago I asked for a copy of God's plan because I was struggling and couldn't understand why and what I needed to do. But then after I had this vision and it ended at the window with my Oatmeal, I heard the strong words, "there's the copy of your plan." I got a part two of Washington and I got a detailed description of what I had to go through that caused me to be where I was at today. I was overcome with emotion and felt so incredibly grateful that God led me through the highs and lows so that I could meet the people I did and have the experiences I had. I couldn't imagine my life any different. I'm grateful for the answers to prayers we receive, even if it takes a year. I learned to love and adjust to my mission once I hit 8 months and I've been amazing since. It's just incredible to see God work in my personal life and being about the miracles I've seen. It was such a powerful moment to have with God and a mode of comfort that provided me the energy and faith to move forward. 

I love my Heavenly Father. I love His guidance. And I love His work. Life doesn't always make sense but you grow as you go. I'm grateful to be on a mission and be tried through the hard times to see the good that's coming. God is so good. And I'm so glad to be here. Even on the hard days ♡

Love y'all with my whole heart!! 

♡♡♡

Sister Neel